- Get top hats added to the official prison uniform.
- Renew friendship with Paul Manafort.
- Publish cellmate’s pornographic emails.
- Get a prison tattoo of Trump’s face on my chest and freshen up Nixon tattoo on my back.
- Declare myself a hydra.
- Open a tailoring business for bespoke orange jumpsuits.
- Deny having anything to do with the release of cellmate’s pornographic emails.
- Threaten a fellow inmate with certain death and then pontificate for 45 minutes about how all death is certain.
- Take credit for deadly shiv attack at another prison.
- Become the biggest and baddest dirty trickster on the whole damn cellblock.
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